I finally Deleted Him.
What happens next? I have no idea. 
It’s somewhat a surprise to me, how numb I’m actually being to this. I half expected to be this way when I had finally done it. Yet I am still ‘somewhat’ surprised… . 

I was 19yrs old:

• A close friend of mine [died] passed away. 
• Exactly three months later after the loss of my friend, [to the very date] I was raped.
• Then three months and eleven days after that was the day you broke up with me and abandoned me. You left me all alone when I needed you most.

I had never been so scared or felt so alone in my life up until then and now, I’m terrified… .
I blame everything that happened to me all at once for you abandoning me|&I blame you abandoning me for whats become of me.

You were the first and only person who I ever fell In Love with which is why it makes this pill so much more harder to swallow-
All that’s left for me to say is I’m sorry, I’m sorry for the harsh unfortunate shitty situations I was dealt within those 6months&11days of my life-I’m sorry that you were scared and I’m sorry that you didn’t have the strength to stay &be there for me [i was scared too].


It’s time for me to let you go now, to let all of this go. So let me [please]. 

I wish that for ONCE in my life I could actually be sincerely thankful when someone compliments me and tells me how ‘beautiful’ I am. For just once, I wish I could believe them… .

The Truth

My greatest fear is that I’ll spill it all guts’n’all-to the last ending inch of the carefully packed intestine, the one that presses against my elderly shaped vertebrae, to the very last bit of what’s left of me-my favorite parts… . Then to have you stand before me not giving a damn.